Here we present a humorous hockey
look at life TOONS ON-ICE style!!!
SKATE TO PAGE FIVE
Lets play Americas favorite TV game show Lets Make a Deal ON-ICE! Will Anna Nicole Smith choose the crusty old Ref and the cash? Or will she take what's behind curtain number 3 and drop her jumbo hot-dog? What would happen if your million dollar game show jackpot depended on the final correct answer of a Canadian hoser Ref on back bacon?
Presenting the Top 10 reasons Hockey Refs make bad TV game show contestants!
Monty Hall drum role please...
10. They cant see the wall puzzle...
9. Only Refs, George Bush and James Brown dont know what a vowel is...
8. Whistles are not allowed on Game Shows...
7. They spin the prize wheel the wrong way...
6. The game buzzer signal makes their hearing aids buzz...
5. They keep calling their mothers...
4. Vannas hooters distract them...
3. They keep trying to adjust the time clock...
2. They failed Scrabble 101...
1. Theres no food!!!
Do you become religious when you experience a blazing 100 mph biscuit? Like Granny always says, "Toes are for tappin', mouths are for yappin', ducks are for quackin', and pucks are for slappin!" One things for sure, when Jesus comes back from resurrection, he's going to take that blonde with the big hair on TBN ice skating for all her hard work and hair spray!
Presenting the Top 10 reasons to Praise the Biscuit!
Ah, another peaceful day at NHL Bikini Bottom as Spongebob Goodenow and Squarepants Gary perform a drive-by in their Crabby Patty Mobile!
Presenting the new NHL Spongebob theme song TOONS ON-ICE style!
Did a group of loud mouth Referees from Up State Harlem get a street named after them called Fartin Luther King Blvd.!?! If Refs gathered in front of the White House for a rally unity march, would they gather for more rights for the blind, or for more Krispy Kreme Doughnut Shops in their community!?!
Presenting the Top 10 reasons to never join The Million Ref March!
Is ESPNs brass section as out of tune as Eminem singing Christmas Carols!?! ESPN used to be the world wide leader in sports, now its the world wide leader in comedy because theres nothing funnier than College Cow Racing instead of NHL Hockey!
Presenting the Top 10 reasons ESPN rejected the NHLs final TV contract offer!
SKATE TO PAGE FIVE
ORDER TOONS ON-ICE GEAR
Hockey Merchandise Headquarters
WHAT'S NEW ON-ICE ... FEATURE DEPT. ... TOONS ON-ICE HOCKEY LEAGUE
HOME ... PUCK TALES ... GRANNY'S HOCKEY RECIPES ... LINKS
CLIENTELE DEPT ... PHOTO GALLERY ... LIL' PUCKERS CLUB
ARTIST VAULT ... AFFILIATE PROGRAM ... TOONS ON-ICE FUNDRAISERS
FOR MORE INFO CONTACT: Michael Fischer at [email protected]
©1998-2006 Toons On Ice Hockey
Website Design & Maintenance by Tony Gerber at Space for Music Online
TOONS ON-ICE Hockey CEO-Artist-Creator Michael Fischer Image Copy right