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WINTER 2012
Greetings Puckheads!!!
Is that hockey love we smell in the air? No, it's just Coach Dad at the rink concession stand ordering 24 chili dogs with extra mustard and onions for the team before the game! ( And that's just for himself! ) Like Dad always said, the only thing more exciting than old time hockey is bowling with Megan Fox and Iron Maiden!
Are you ready to puck it up? Well tell your cousin Jimmy Joe Bob to stop working on that Dodge and lace em' up because it's time to hit the ice TOONS ON-ICE style eh! Just beware of the Hockey Granny flying through the neutral zone ready to clock you on a suicide pass wielding her Old signature Bobby Hull Sherwood iron skillet! Like Granny always said, "That's the great thing about hockey is, if you get hurt, the ice is already there!
You know it's a brand new year when Dad trades his golf clubs in for Blues Season Seat Tickets! Ice Hockey is not for your average rowdy sports fan, it's an aquired taste designed for the family member who has too much passion to sit around and wait for two minute TV time outs! And thats just the family dog! Hockey has been around so long that back in the glory days, sirens, glass-rattling bodychecks, and players carried off on stretchers was simply called a "Gordie Howe Hat Trick!"
In the immortal words of Mr. T, "I pity the fool that don't like ice hockey!" You gotta love hockey! The hits, the speed, the smells, the excitement , the silly Referee's and oh the ice girls! Who ever thought Hockey Fanatics in the 21rst Century would do anything for a free ice girl t-shirt during a key face off in the 3rd period? It would be much better if the hot blonde was still in the shirt, they should just shoot ice girls out of the t-shirt cannons! Better yet, they should just shoot NHL Comissioner Gary Bettman out of the t-shirt cannon at this years All Star Game!
So what's new ON-ICE? Do you love ice hockey so much, your dog raids the refrigerator and cheers for the same team as you? If you sent a Referee a Valentines Day Card, would it have to have an eye chart enclosed? If you gave a Ref flowers, would they die? If Hockey Night in America rocks, then what does ESPN Poker do? Did your sisters new cat steal your i-Phone and order Blues Season Seat Tickets? Will NHL Ice Hockey Referee's ever aquire Len Crafter's endorsements and life time memberships to Krispy Kreme Donuts? Does anyone miss Kerry Fraisers hair? If there's an ice age coming in earth's future, does that mean NHL Hockey Highlights will finally be on PTI first? Will Moms old beat up Army Green Dodge Mini van ever be enducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame next to Wayne Gretzky, Bobby Orr and Bernie Parent? And finally, will Apple ever create a i-burger app for Youth Hockey Goalies on the go? Well, Coach Mom can only hope!
Now skate out there and grab a hamburger for your Goalie!
Rock the Rink!
ICE MISER
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